As a young, twenty-something woman living in the 21st century, I was conditioned from a very early age to desire a relationship. Barbie had Ken. Jasmine had Aladdin. Britney had Justin. And I have no one.
Or, at least that’s how Hallmark would have me feel. And while there’s something to be said for having a partner on which you can rely, the quiet truth is: being unattached in February isn’t a big deal.
This isn’t a pity party disguised as sage advice. This isn’t a day that should be spent hating all the men or women who broke your heart, didn’t love you back, or told you that you were pretty in seventh grade but went to the homecoming dance with Sarah Miller instead (David).
If you’re single, you should treat Valentine’s Day like every other day you’re alive on the planet, regardless of your relationship status. As a chance to thrive, learn, create and surround yourself with people and experiences who challenge your point of view on the world and make you feel happy and worthwhile. If you have someone along for the ride, be sure to be kind to them and never forget the importance of compromise. If you’re flying solo, be sure to be kind to yourself and never forget that your self-worth isn’t dependent on the presence or absence of the purple-vest-and-tiny-hat-wearing bread thief on your arm.
Without further adieu, here’s a list of things to do on Valentine’s Day and every other day:
1. Write a thank you note.
And not a .25 cent Power Rangers cut-out that you sign with your name in a heart. (Though, feel free to include one for jokes if that’s your style.) I’m talking about a short and sweet, hand-written token of thanks to someone who helped you out recently or someone who you may be taking for granted. Be thoughtful, be brief and most importantly– be genuine. Put this piece of mail in an envelope and send it via USPS. Try not to indulge in any conversations you might overhear about how they’re going to stop carrying mail on Saturdays, and smile knowing that you are going to make your recipient’s day. As getting actual human communication via mailbox these days is the rarest and most precious of treats.
2. Move.
This is intentionally vague, and yet indelibly important. In whatever capacity this command means to you, get moving. Repair your leaking sink. Wash that embarrassingly large pile of laundry. Bundle up and get on your bike and ride fearlessly over the potholes because you are alive and capable. Our bike maintenance teachers might disagree on that last point, but we’re condoning it just for today. It’s a metaphor, you see, for forward progress in the face of danger and a lesson in the power of creating inertia to digging yourself out of a hole.
3. Reconnect with a friend.
Perhaps the one caveat to being okay with being single on Valentine’s Day is realizing that you’re not alone. And let me tell you, friend on the internet I don’t quite know, you’re not alone. The trick is to see the potential in your platonic relationships and nurture them just as tenderly as you would if they were with a significant other. People like to use the term “partner” in a romantic way, but I think partners are anyone you enjoy spending your time with. So grab your favorite partner and spend time fostering your relationship. Whether that be over a cup of coffee at City Grounds, catching a midnight madness flick at MusicBox, or building, filling and smashing your own pinatas (And bonus: You’ll get to say you used a blindfold today. See! V-day.)
4. Learn Something.
This part may seem painfully obvious, given that I work at Dabble, but the message is so important that I would be condoning it even if I wasn’t an employee. What are we put on this earth for if not to absorb as much about it as our tiny little brains allow? Don’t know what the heck Tribal Belly Dance is? Now you do. Want to up your street cred 10 points and be the talk of the next party? Step behind the turn tables. Hate your job? Learn how to quit it.
The world is your oyster, single friends. Go forth and kick ass and before you know it Valentine’s day will be over and you’ll realize that spending Feb 14th enriching your mind & body is a lot more lucrative than faking interest in dollar store chocolates. Trust.